I'm Not Who I Was
by SweetlySpicey
Summary: Songfic of Huey thinking about his true love. very sad


_It's called, "I'm Not Who I Was" by Brandon Heath. Listen to it while u read. _

_http:/__ /search .playlist. com__ /track s/ Brandon- Heath -I 2527 m-not-who- I-was_

_its gonna be sad, guys_

_oOOOoOOoOOOooOOOooOOOooOOOooOOOooOOOooOOOooOOOooOOOooOOOooOOOooOOOooOO_

Huey sighed as he stepped his way around the old house he used to call home. The hardened young boy had become a very successful writer in his adulthood. Though he was still pretty hardened, he had relaxed into his maturity and learned to not take things so drastically. He still had strong political views, but found to vent into his writings and not hill top rants.

_I wish you could see me now __  
__I wish I could show you how __  
__I'm not who I was_

The house had long been deserted. The boys left Woodcrest as soon as they were old enough to buy a bus ticket out of the place. They came back for Grandad's funeral, but other than that, neither had even seen the other nor the old man who had raised them like a father.

Guilt was an emotion Huey just got used to. He let riley slip through his grasp and he allowed his grandfather to die alone… but what he regretted most was the fact he left the woman he loved more than anything in the world. But It was okay… because he fell inlove with another girl. Someone who he was sure he couldn't live without.

But his thoughts always drifted back to Jazmine.

_I used to be mad at you __  
__A little on the hurt side too __  
__But I'm not who I was _

When he left, she was engaged to some stupid ass white boy. He had missed his chance with her at prom. They had gone together, but instead of kissing her goodnight, he dropped her off at her house, not bothering to walk her to the door. The very next day, she was dating Phil Stevenson. How messed up was that?

He hated her for saying yes to that bastard but he just wasn't able to tell her how he felt. It was best for them both. The sad thing is, she invited him to her wedding, telling him it just wouldn't be right without him there. In fact, since Tom had died from cancer their sophomore year, Jazmine had asked Huey to give her away. No way in hell was he doing that. He got on the bus that evening.

_I found my way around __  
__To forgiving you Some time ago __  
__But I never got to tell you so_

He sighed as he stepped on the first step, the dust cloud forming from the force of his foot contacting the wood. He hadn't made it to the second step before noticing the small dust-coated picture frames on the mantel. Forgetting his mission up the stairs, he turned back and used his thumb to wipe away the dirt and grime from the cool glass.

There was a picture of Huey and Riley as babies, another with Grandad and the boys and one of Huey and Jazmine; ten years old. Huey was sitting in the grass and Jazmine was standing behind him, her hands on his shoulders and her smile cheesy and joyful. As she usually was. His smile was non existent… his typical frown.

Huey smiled and shook his head. He was always such a dick to her, wasn't he?

_I found us in a photograph __  
__I saw me and I had to laugh __  
__You know, I'm not who I was _

Huey bit his lip and stared intently at the photo. He remembered that day pretty well. Their families went on a picnic and instead of playing with the ducks in the pond with Riley and Jazmine, he just sat there. No matter how she tried to get him to come play, he refused. He had watched Riley chase the geese and Jazmine feed the babies. He also remembered thinking how stupid they were.

_  
__You were there, you were right above me __  
__And I wonder if you ever loved me __  
__Just for who I was __  
_

The next picture was of Jazmine's wedding. She was in her dress and smiling. Grandad had taken the liberty of giving her away. Huey knew he would… Riley was in the picture, too. Making a "thug mug". In the back was Phil, holding onto the young woman he had just taken as his wife.

_  
__When the pain came back again __  
__Like a bitter friend __  
__It was all that I could do __  
__To keep myself from blaming you _

Huey smacked his teeth and put the picture back up. He came to the house just to get the rest of the books he had left, no other reason. He made his way to the stairs and climbed all the way to the top. He was alone, but it was okay. He was famous…. Or infamous. Whichever you'd prefer to look at it. He had no time for drama.

Looking through his shelf, he felt his heart melt at the sight of his books. He didn't really need them, but growing up they were almost like security blankets. He needed them. They made him feel safe. There was another photo of Jazmine in his bedroom. They were at prom… sheesh. These were depressing him.

He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to hold her. He only got to do it once… and that was when he had to finally say goodbye.

You see, Huey had come back after Grandad's funeral for something else. Something he found so much more important than any of his book signings and talk shows. He came back for the new girl in his life. The girl who he loved more than anything in the whole wide world._  
_  
_I was thinking maybe I __  
__I should let you know __  
__I am not the same __  
__But I never did forget your name __  
__Hello_

"Daddy?"

Huey's head shot up to see the orphaned daughter of Phil and Jazmine, standing in the doorway. She gave him a sad smile and stepped forward. Huey had watched both Phil and Jazmine die in their hospital beds.

The car wreck had been… awful. They weren't sure they would save the unborn child inside Jazmine's belly, but they did. Huey kissed his lovers head and held her in his arms as she passed on, promising to love and care for her daughter the best he could. 

_Well the thing I find most amazing __  
__In amazing grace __  
__Is the chance to give it out __  
__Maybe that's what love is all about __  
_

"You ready to go?" She looked almost identical to her mother at her age, only she had her nappy afro-hair tied back into a dew rag.

"Yeah, Grace," Huey smiled, picking up his box of books and heading for the door, "ya wanna get something to eat, little baby?"

"Sure,"

Huey fought back the tears as she gripped his index and middle finger, tugging him along. He loved her more than he thought possible. It didn't matter that she was mostly white. She was, in all honesty, his saving grace.

_I wish you could see me now __  
__I wish I could show you how __  
__I'm not who I was _

_oOOOoOOoOOOooOOOooOOOooOOOooOOOooOOOooOOOooOOOooOOOooOOOooOOOooOOOooOO_

_The end! _

_Sorry this was kinda sad. Idk where this came from, but this song is GORGEOUS and I love it. U should listen to it._

_It's called, "I'm Not Who I Was" by Brandon Heath. Listen to it while u read _


End file.
